Here's a little Saturday morning bluntness for you:
If your entire professional development strategy lives inside your laptop, it’s probably not working the way you think it is.
I know, because I’ve been there. When I started my business, I was head down, consuming everything I could get my hands on. I bought online courses, coaching calls on Zoom, books, and started following all the podcasts.
And hey, I was learning a ton. But my growth was slow, and it took a lot of effort. What changed everything for me – and took me from $200K a year to almost $200K a launch – was getting out of my home office and into a room with people who had done it. And the crazy thing is, I almost didn't go at all! But what I learned was that the in-person learning experience just can't be duplicated. Having side conversations over lunch about real challenges can be just as valuable (or more valuable) than any course.
Since then, I’ve watched this same shift happen for many other women. And I’ve noticed that there are three specific beliefs keeping smart, ambitious women glued to their home offices when the thing they actually need is to get in the room.
So that's exactly what I'm going to unpack in today's newsletter. Let’s dive in…
Myth #1: Your company's leadership training will get you there
Here’s what I see all the time: A woman gets feedback that she needs to be “more strategic” or develop “executive presence.” Her company offers a leadership development program. She signs up. She checks the box.
The program is fine. She learns some frameworks and probably fills out a workbook. And then she goes back into her Monday morning meeting and defaults to the exact same patterns.
Here’s the problem with most corporate leadership programs: they’re designed to be scalable, not personal. They teach general concepts to a room full of people at different levels with different challenges. They’re not built to help you practice the specific skill you need to develop, in front of real people, with real-time feedback. And they’re definitely not built to help you work through the conditioning, the self-doubt, and the identity shift that’s actually keeping you stuck.
Leadership is a practice problem, not a knowledge problem. You would never learn to swim by watching YouTube videos. At some point, you have to get in the water. Communication, presence, owning your narrative, these are skills that live in your body, your voice, and your energy. You develop them by doing them in front of other people who want to see you win, not by completing a module on your laptop.
I can’t tell you how many women I’ve worked with who have been through every leadership program their company offers and have even gotten an MBA and then said to me, “This was more valuable than any of them.” It’s not because those programs are bad. It’s because they were never designed to give you what you actually need: a space to practice being the leader you’re becoming.
Instead of: Deferring to your company’s next leadership cohort
You: Get in a room and practice saying things like, “I see this differently,” and “I'm going to push back” out loud to a real person who will tell you how it landed
Myth #2: Your mentor or coach has you covered
Don’t get me wrong, mentors and coaches can be hugely valuable. I AM a coach. I believe in this work.
But a mentor or coach can’t give you the experience of realizing you’re not alone. It can't give you the feeling of seeing other women struggling with your exact same problem.
One of the most damaging things about building your career from your home office is that you start to believe you’re the only one struggling. You think everyone else has it figured out. And when you get that vague feedback about “executive presence,” you internalize it as a personal failing. This is exactly how I felt when I was in that situation!
When you get in a room with ten other women at your level, you realize they’re ALL getting the same feedback. That shift, from “something is wrong with me” to “this is a common challenge I can learn to close,” is one of the most powerful things I’ve ever watched happen. And it happens when you have a chance to really connect with others.
A mentor gives you advice. A room full of peers who are working through the same challenges gives you perspective, evidence, and the confidence that comes from knowing you’re not broken. Those are different things.
Myth #3: You can build the connections you need virtually
I get it, you’re busy. Between work, kids and life, who has time to travel to an event? And besides, LinkedIn exists. Slack exists. You can now network from your couch!
But what you don't realize is that the conversations that actually change careers are the ones that happen between the sessions. The coffee break where you say to the woman next to you, “I’m dealing with this situation with my boss,” and she says, “I dealt with the exact same thing last year. Here’s what I did.” Those conversations are unscripted, unplanned, and they will never happen in a webinar.
When I invested in joining a high-level mastermind group, the content and curriculum were great. But the real value, and the reason I'm still in this group 3 years later, is sitting across from women who have already done what I'm trying to do, and seeing them as regular humans, not people on a pedestal. As soon as you do that, the gap between who you are and who you want to be starts to close. You stop admiring from afar and start seeing yourself as a peer.
Friends, you will never get that from a LinkedIn connection request!
What's next?
If any of these myths hit a nerve, here’s my challenge to you: think about the last time you were physically in a room with ambitious women at your level who were working toward the same things you are. If you can’t remember, that might be the gap.
On October 23rd, I’m hosting Own the Room, a one-day leadership summit in Ottawa for directors and senior directors who are ready to stop being “almost there” and ready to start owning the room! It sold out with 50 women last year. And 100% of attendees said it exceeded their expectations.
I want to stress that this is not a conference where you sit in rows and listen all day. You’re at a round table with other ambitious women. You learn a skill, practice it right there, and get feedback from the woman beside you. You'll leave with a Leadership Identity Statement, a Communication With Impact toolkit, and a Strategic Visibility plan that you built in the room, not a notebook full of inspo you’ll never open again.
This year we have 100 seats. Early bird pricing is available until June 30th. Grab your ticket here.
Until next time friends… ✌️💜
Katy
