Research suggests that ~85% people struggle with self doubt. So, pretty much everyone! If you’ve struggled with this or are struggling now, take some comfort in the fact that you’re not alone.
But just because it’s common to experience self-doubt does not mean you need to let it hijack your thoughts or run your life!
There are 2 different types of people I know:
The ones who experience self-doubt, assume they’re no good, and give up, and the ones who experience self-doubt, acknowledge it, and still work towards their dreams.
Which would you rather be? I’m going to guess in the latter group, and that’s what we’re going to dive into today…
Self-doubt doesn’t have to be a dream crusher
Self-doubt is like so many other things in life: maybe we can’t control the initial thoughts we experience, but we can certainly control what we do next. And we can create habits in our life to support the type of person we want to be.
So today I’m going to walk you through my 5 favourite hacks for kicking self-doubt to the curb.
Let’s do it.
Surround yourself with supportive people
The people you surround yourself with will have a huge impact on how you feel about yourself. Think about it – if every time you share a big dream, your partner or your friends tell you how stupid it is, what’s that going to do for your confidence?
On the other hand, if they encourage you, lift you up and inspire you to dream even bigger by showing you what’s possible, what will that do?
I’ve experienced both of these scenarios firsthand:
I was in a toxic, abusive relationship during the time I was trying to get promoted to VP. I remember my ex saying to me, “You’re never going to be a VP.” Ouch. Of course, I did end up becoming a VP, to which he said, “I only said that so you would be motivated to prove me wrong.”
Ummm, nice try. It doesn’t work like that.
On the flip side, I’ve met so many inspiring leaders and women who have made me want to do bigger things and believe I’m capable of more. Surrounding yourself with people who bring this energy (as often as possible) will impact your willingness to dream big, take risks, and believe you can do it.
Remember this.
Gain some self-awareness
Once you gain true self-awareness, you can’t go back. It’s like seeing something that you just can’t un-see. But many people go through the bulk of their lives with little to no awareness of their thoughts and thought patterns. They never stop to notice what their inner talk track sounds like.
And that’s a shame.
Because without self-awareness, it’s really tough to make changes.
Here’s the thing – once you’re tuned into your inner voice (aka inner critic), you’ll start to notice when she pops up. Maybe you’ll be getting ready to give a presentation and you’ll hear her, ‘This probably isn’t going to be very good. I bet no one will be interested in the presentation.’
But if you notice it, great! Because then you respectfully tell her to STFU and move on. But we’ll get to that in a second. This step is really all about tuning into the way you talk to yourself and noticing what language you use.
It can be eye-opening to notice the way you speak to yourself.
We do a powerful self-reflection exercise in my group program that women have told me changes everything for them. Amazing what some new awareness can do!
Reflect on your accomplishments
Your brain amplifies what you focus on. If you spend all of your time worrying about the future or ruminating on the past, that is what your brain decides is important, and that’s what it will amplify.
On the other hand, if you spend time reviewing your wins and going over the positive feedback you’ve gathered, your brain will amplify that!
The idea here is to intentionally remind yourself what a badass woman you are. Our brains are wired to focus on the negative (a remnant from our evolution) so we need to be intentional about focusing on the good stuff.
Chances are, you’ve received some positive feedback from your manager or a colleague over the last month. Did you write it down? Keep track of it? Read it back to yourself later? If not, you should!
Same goes for your wins and accomplishments.
Spend some time reminding your brain just how awesome you are. Slowly, it may just start to believe you.
Challenge your thoughts
Okay, now that you have some awareness and you’re starting to speak more kindly to yourself (when you remember to anyway), you can take it a step further – and that is to begin challenging your negative thoughts.
I remember hearing something years ago that absolutely blew my mind and changed me forever:
“Don’t believe everything you think.”
This honestly floored me because I had always assumed that if I thought something, it must be true on some level. For example, I believed that if my boyfriend was late coming home and my imagination was running away with me, telling me that he was cheating on me, it must be because my subconscious was picking up on something that my conscious mind had not yet perceived and therefore, it must actually be right.
It turns out, my mind was not always right (sorry to my ex-boyfriend).
The truth is that our minds come up with all kinds of stuff. Some of it is true. Some of it is useful. Some of it is not. And some of it is downright mean (to ourselves)!
We don’t have to believe all of this!
Once you accept that your thoughts ≠ the truth, you’ll be a whole lot better off. You get to decide which ones you want to believe.
And when it comes to self-doubt, you can simply choose to challenge the negative thoughts you are telling yourself. There are some great exercises you can do for this (I do some with my group!) but the idea is to ask yourself whether there is any evidence that this thought is NOT true.
Any evidence to show that you’re NOT a failure?
Any evidence to suggest that you’re NOT stupid?
Whatever the nasty thing is you’re telling yourself, search for evidence to the contrary. You’ll be surprised what you discover.
Take action
This may be the most important piece of advice, and it’s simply to take action anyway.
Want to apply for that VP role and aren’t sure you meet all the criteria? Do it anyway. Want to ask out that cute boy or girl and aren’t sure they’ll say yes? Ask them anyway.
Pushing through self-doubt and choosing to act is so important for 2 reasons:
- Taking action will build your confidence over time
- You may just get what you want!
But here’s the thing, even if you don’t get what you want, you can still take action to make it happen for yourself. There’s a big difference between applying for a job and not getting it, and then moping around telling yourself you suck,
and applying for a job, not getting it, and then deciding you’re going to level up so that the next time a role like this becomes available, you’ll be the hands-down, no-brainer choice.
The first one keeps you stuck. The second moves you forward.
I’ve found that when I’m feeling low, taking action gives me a huge pick-me-up. Probably because it feels as though I’m taking matters into my own hands instead of waiting for something good to happen.
And I want that for you too…
Here’s the thing: I love giving you free advice every week in my newsletter and every day on LinkedIn. What I would really love would be for you to come to my masterclass on Tuesday. I’m doing it live at noon ET and 7pm ET to accommodate as many people’s time zones as I can.
Why do I care if you come? Because I’ve put a ton of effort into creating it, and I believe it can help you gain insights that will shift the trajectory of your career. I’ll also share how we can work together at the end, but even if you aren’t up for that, you will learn some great stuff! Register here.
Until next time friends… ✌️💜
Katy
PS. Tuesday is your LAST CHANCE to catch my brand-new, free, live masterclass teaching you exactly what it takes to land a VP role and thrive in it. Sign up here and let’s make 2025 your year!!
