Last weekend, I flew home from a transformational week in LA. I visit LA twice every year to take part in a retreat that is part of a mastermind I’m in. It’s an investment of both time and money, and I never regret it.
I’m lucky to have met some really interesting people at this retreat. And this time, I got to meet none other than Jay Shetty. If you don’t know who he is, he wrote the bestselling book Think Like a Monk, and you’ve definitely come across his viral videos and posts on social media.
The cool thing about this was that we got to have a ‘behind the scenes’ conversation with Jay, and he shared about all kinds of things he doesn’t speak about publicly. I told you – I’m lucky!
The whole experience was highly impactful, so in today’s newsletter, I want to share some of the biggest lessons from meeting Jay and from the mastermind in general. I’m also going to ask you some questions about what these lessons may mean for you.
Let’s dive in…
Lesson 1: Too many of us are making excuses
This was one of the first things Jay talked about when someone asked a question about his success. Too many of us aren’t giving it our all because of some excuse we’ve made up:
- We’re too old
- We’re too young
- We’re not smart enough
- We don’t look a certain way
- English isn’t our first language
This is true for many of you reading this newsletter. You tell yourself you don’t have the qualifications, the education or the certifications to go after your big goals. But at the end of the day, these are excuses not to try.
Jay said, the people who are ahead of you have just done a better job at studying what works and then doing that. They’ve been more dedicated or observant. That’s it. (I’m paraphrasing btw)
He was talking about making content, but this is true for leadership, too. It’s true for landing new opportunities. It’s true for a lot of things in life.
Question to apply this to your life:
What’s the excuse you need to let go of?
Lesson 2: Our failures can be our greatest gifts
You’ve probably heard this before, but to hear Jay Shetty list all of his early failures and how they led to better things was eye-opening!
He shared a story about flying out to LA with his wife, Radhi and spending a week pitching his TV show to various studios. He went all in – prepared the deck and the pitch – missing his parents’ visit from the UK and celebrating his 30th birthday for this opportunity.
Every single one turned him down.
Zero interest.
It was essentially for nothing.
Except… the people he knew who ended up with their own shows around that time were all cancelled after a couple of seasons.
This failure led Jay to look at other opportunities, and someone suggested he start posting videos on YouTube. He had no idea what the magnitude of this would be.
If Jay had gotten the show, it’s very likely he never would have started on YouTube. His massive podcast may not exist.
He gave more examples, but you get the point. Sometimes what we see as a failure ends up being an opportunity instead.
Question to apply this to your life:
If you’ve ‘failed’ lately (didn’t land that VP role after the interview, get the promotion or anything else), how are you going to pivot to something better?
Lesson 3: Endeavour, then surrender
This one was so interesting to me, because lately I’ve been thinking more about the topic of surrendering. I’m reading The Surrender Experiment and deciding how I want this to show up in my own life.
My friend Lucy asked Jay how he balances ambition and goals with surrendering to life (because I mean, the guy was a Monk, but he’s also highly successful), and his answer was exactly what I needed to hear:
Jay shared that the key is to first endeavour and then surrender.
That means that before surrendering, you should be taking action and giving it your all. Whether that’s in a relationship or at work, if you’re going to surrender to an outcome, you want to do it knowing you did everything in your power to achieve what you wanted first.
Many of us are NOT doing this!! We’re either surrendering way too soon (ie, giving up because we didn’t get the result we wanted) or not surrendering at all (not being willing to accept and move on).
Question to apply this to your life:
Where are you surrendering too soon, without enough endeavour?
Where are you holding on when it’s time to let go and surrender?
Bonus: This guy’s success is no accident
This is a lesson I learn over and over when I meet highly successful people.
Jay may be a spiritual teacher, but he’s also calculated and strategic.
He may believe in leading with love, but he’s also process-driven and business-minded.
It may seem as though he fell into his success through his wisdom and charisma, but I promise you, his success was no accident.
It was the result of saying ‘yes’ to opportunities and then finding ways to double down on that initial success. And the reason he’s stayed so relevant is no coincidence.
This guy is not waking up in the morning and seeing what he feels inspired to post. He’s studying trends and algorithm changes. He’s researching what goes viral and creating intentional, curated content that he knows is going to perform.
And we can also take something from this:
Are you being intentional with the way you’re pursuing your goals?
Are you approaching your career strategically, or are you just letting it happen to you?
My biggest lesson of all: It’s all about finding your tribe
Despite having the opportunity to meet someone of Jay’s caliber, the best part of my week in LA by far was surrounding myself with my tribe. I got to be with like-minded women who have similar ambitions and challenges, and who get it!
I have many wonderful friends and people in my life who I cherish, but who will never understand me the same way these women do. And that’s why I continue to invest in this group of women. The more I get to know them, the better it is, and I prioritize these retreats above almost everything.
In some ways, I learn more from being with these women than all of the teachings and celebrity guests combined.
I feel so passionately about this that part of my mission is to help create these groups in the world.
If you’re looking to become a VP, you can find your tribe in my program and community. Not only do you learn everything you need to know to land that role and crush it, you gain a whole new network of amazing women. The September cohort is closed, but you can book a strategy call and gain early access to the next one here.
Or if you’re already a VP or C-suite exec and looking for an exclusive, intimate group of women who are at your level to share the things you can’t share anywhere else and get support with your biggest challenges, I’ll be officially launching my Women’s Exec Mastermind in the coming months! You can join the priority invite list here for an opportunity to apply.
Until next time friends… ✌️💜
Katy
