In a call with women from my community last week, one of the women shared a challenge she was dealing with: overthinking. And it was impacting her sleep and her life!
This is a common challenge I hear from my clients. They ruminate on events from the day that didn't go well or a comment from a colleague that may or may not have been a slight.
There are so many reasons we get caught in this trap. First of all, your brain is wired to predict threats and protect you from them. If your work stress is being perceived as a threat, your brain may be working overtime to try to resolve it.
Other reasons are that you may be seeking control over a situation that hasn't been going your way, or that you have unresolved emotions that your brain is constantly trying to resolve in the background.
Whatever the reason, if you're unable to fall asleep or wake up at night with these thoughts, you know how disruptive it can be to your life.
So in today's newsletter, I'm going to share my 5 top strategies to stop overthinking. Let's dive in…
Strategy #1: Externalize the thoughts (i.e. brain dump)
Why it works:
When you ‘dump' your thoughts onto paper (journaling, notes app, or even a voice memo), you’re doing something called cognitive off-loading.
Studies show that transferring your thoughts to something external reduces intrusive thoughts and stress. For example, when you write down unfinished tasks before bed, you'll fall asleep faster because your brain will no longer feel the need to keep the information ‘online.'
Basically, you're giving your brain permission to rest.
How to implement this:
Do a brain dump of your thoughts and/or the things you need to get done before bed. This also works if you wake up at 3 am with your mind racing: Jot down what’s spinning in your head, label it as something to revisit later, and close the notebook.
Strategy #2: Name the worry (Cognitive labeling)
Why it works:
When you label your emotions or thoughts, you shift from experiencing emotion to observing it. This allows you to get out of the drama in your head and look at it more objectively.
I often combine this strategy with journaling (strategy #1) as a way of getting underneath my feelings, and I've had so many insights doing this! I remember when I was launching my business, I was (literally) losing sleep because some of my friends weren't supporting me. After I did a journaling session and named both what I was feeling and why, I was able to gain a whole new perspective and move on.
How to implement this:
For you, high-performing women who default to problem-solving: Instead of spiraling (“What if my boss didn’t like that presentation?”), label it: “I'm feeling stressed out about the presentation. That’s my fear of not being seen as a competent leader talking.”
That small distance between you and the thought interrupts the loop and lets you stop ruminating.
Strategy #3: Set a “worry window” (Scheduled rumination)
Why it works:
When you tell your brain “not now” instead of “don’t think about it”, you’re leveraging a behavioural therapy technique called stimulus control. You assign a specific time – e.g., 4:30 pm for 10 minutes, to revisit whatever you're worried about. Your mind then learns it doesn’t have to replay them at night.
Research shows that participants who practiced ‘scheduled worry' had less anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
How to implement this:
This may sound counterintuitive, but it can be powerful. Tell yourself: “I’ll think this through at 4:30 tomorrow.” Then actually do it.
By doing this, you’re training your brain to trust that there’s a place for the thought to go (just not at 2 am!).
Strategy #4: Ground in the body
Why it works:
Simple: overthinking happens in our minds, and grounding returns you to your body. Techniques like paced breathing (4-7-8), the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory scan, or progressive muscle relaxation engage the parasympathetic nervous system, lowering cortisol and heart rate variability associated with rumination.
i.e. Getting out of your head and into your body will help re-centre you.
There are also dozens of studies that support the use of breathing for anxiety and sleep quality.
How to implement this:
This can be as simple as doing an exercise like this:
“Feel your feet on the floor. Breathe in for four, hold for seven, out for eight.” This disrupts the rumination loop by focusing your attention on sensation instead of thought.
If you don't intentionally stop to breathe at least once a day, I highly recommend it!
Strategy #5: Create a pre-sleep ritual (Behavioral cueing)
Why it works:
The brain associates cues with states. If your bedtime routine includes checking Slack or replaying tomorrow’s presentation deck in your head, you’re conditioning yourself for vigilance, not rest!
Replacing this with a consistent wind-down routine creates a “safety signal”, which tells your nervous system it’s safe to power down.
Most of us do this for our kids, but not for ourselves. Ladies, you deserve a bedtime routine too!
How to implement this:
This doesn’t need to be complicated: try dimming the lights, having an herbal tea, reading or taking a bath. Over time, your body associates this routine with rest, which helps your mind power down.
Until next time friends… ✌️💜
Katy
