There’s a topic that keeps coming up with women I meet, in coaching calls or side conversations, but no one is really talking about it. And today, I want to bring it to light.

When I was climbing the corporate ladder in Biotech and Tech, I started to notice that I could no longer relate to many of my friends when it came to talking about jobs and careers. My closest friends, the women I’d known for many years and I loved more than anything, didn’t understand my job at all.

Many of them worked in completely different fields or simply had little to no career ambition. So while I loved spending time with them, there was a whole part of my life that I couldn’t really share or get advice on. And to be clear, I didn’t (and don’t) blame them for that at all…

But I also started to feel a level of loneliness and isolation.

At the time, it never occurred to me that the solution might be finding new friends. I mean, I already had my best friends – why would I make more? So I just stayed on my little island and tried to figure it all out on my own.

Then I left corporate and stepped into entrepreneurship, and that feeling got ten times louder. Not only that, I started to notice that while I was growing and working to become the best version of myself, not everyone was supportive. In fact, certain friends seemed a little annoyed with my evolution.

So today I want to talk about something we don’t talk about enough: the reality that when you grow, you sometimes outgrow the people around you. And what to do about it.

Let’s dive in…

Growth can be lonely

When I was working my way to the exec table, I was well aware that I didn’t have many people to talk to about my ambitions and struggles, and that my closest friends didn’t really understand my job. I knew others working in biotech/tech or stepping into leadership, but they weren’t the type of deep friendships where I could be fully vulnerable and get real support.

This was tough enough…

But when I made the leap to entrepreneurship, the gap between my world and my best friends’ world became impossible to ignore. I was working through limiting beliefs and doing the inner work, obsessing over my business strategy, building something from nothing, and taking financial risks that kept me up at night. And the people I was closest to couldn’t relate to any of it.

And I do not fault them for this AT ALL. They hadn’t signed up to be my business advisors! They were showing up as the same great friends they’d always been – I was the one who had changed. And now that I had left corporate, even the friends in my professional network could no longer relate.

This is the part nobody warns you about. Growth isn’t just hard because of the learning curve or the risk. It’s hard because – even with amazing friends and family – it can feel lonely AF.

The math behind it

Years ago I heard Sahil Bloom talk about this idea, and it stuck with me. The probability that the people you happened to grow up with, go to school with, or start your career with are going to be the same people who can relate to your biggest dreams and goals is really low.

And this just comes down to math. A smaller percentage of the population takes big swings, pursues ambitious goals, or makes unconventional career moves. So if you have big dreams, statistically, most of the people in your circle are not going to be on that same path.

That doesn’t make them bad friends. It just means you may need to find additional people who get it.

Here are three things I’ve learned about friendships and growth

You can appreciate your old friends for exactly who they are.

These people knew you before the title, before the accomplishments, and before you became the person you are today. There’s so much beauty in the history you share, and having people who know you on that deeper level matters. I love that my high school friends knew me through all of it. The good, the bad, the messy… the dumb things I did before social media was around… You get it. Not every friendship needs to “serve” you. Some friendships are about roots and history.

I still love my old friends deeply and love the time we spend together. When we get together, we can talk for 6 straight hours, and chances are, it’s about nothing productive. They couldn’t care less how many social media followers I have or how much money I make. There’s something really refreshing about that. I’ve just stopped expecting them to understand and relate to every single part of my life. And that’s refreshing too.

So if you’re experiencing this, remember that these people can still have a special place in your life, and it’s worth appreciating them for exactly who they are.

You need to actively find new friends who relate to where you’re going.

This was the lesson that took me way too long to learn, but I’m so grateful I’ve finally learned it. While you can still appreciate and love your old friends, there is nothing like finding friends who are on the same path. Nothing. But here’s the thing, this often doesn’t happen organically when you’re busy building a big career or a business. You have to be intentional about it. For me, this meant investing in a mastermind group and intentionally finding women who were doing the things I was doing or that I wanted to do.

The first time I sat in a room with women who were building businesses at the same level, who understood the specific loneliness of entrepreneurship and who were invested in personal and professional growth, something clicked. I felt as though I had found my people. I realized I hadn’t just been missing advice – I’d been missing the feeling of being understood.

I’ve now built an amazing network of women who I support and who support me. And a couple of them have become my closest friends, whom I talk to every day! Despite the fact that we have only known each other for a few years (or less), we’ve connected on a deep level, and I’m beyond grateful for them.

And guess what? There’s lots of room for them AND my old friends! Turns out, I didn’t have to choose.

Some friendships need to end, and that’s the hardest part.

I’m not talking about the friends who just can’t relate to your job. I’m talking about the ones who actively pull you backward. The ones who aren’t growth-minded and let you know it. The ones who are negative about your ambitions or make you feel like you’re “too much.” The ones who – if you’re honest with yourself – seem to want you to fail.

I’ve had friendships like this, and I struggled hard to make sense of it. Around this time, I also cut way back on drinking, which only made it more obvious (it’s easier to put up with bad behaviour after a bottle of wine). The truth is, it hurt me a lot. I couldn’t understand why these people didn’t want to support me or didn’t want me to grow into a better version of myself. It took some work to understand that it wasn’t really about me at all.

When you start growing and changing, you discover that some relationships were built on a version of you that doesn’t exist anymore. If you don’t feel as though you can be your full, authentic self around these friends, it may be time to take a step back. Letting go of these friendships is painful, but holding onto them is often more painful.

Just because you’ve had a friendship, even if it was for many years, does not mean you need to continue having that friendship. If it no longer serves you, you’re allowed to let it go.

Why this matters for your career

I share all of this because I see the same pattern in the women I work with. They’re ambitious leaders and executives surrounded by people who often can’t relate to what they’re going through. They feel isolated at work because they’re often the only woman at the table. And they feel isolated at home because their friends and family don’t fully understand the weight of what they’re carrying.

The answer isn’t to abandon everyone you know. It’s to add the right people. People who are on a similar path. People who will push you, challenge you, and say, “I’ve been there. Here’s what helped.”

That’s exactly why I built what I built. And it’s why I keep coming back to this message: you don’t have to do it alone. But you do have to be intentional about finding your people.

On October 23rd, 2026, ​I’m hosting Own the Room​, a one-day leadership summit in Ottawa for 100 women who are ready to level up and find their tribe. It’s a full day with ambitious women who get it: women at your level, working through the same challenges as you are, who you can actually relate to. Last year, the thing I heard most from attendees wasn’t about the content or the frameworks (although you ladies loved that too). It was, “I found my people.”

Early bird pricing is available until June 30th. ​Grab your ticket here.

Until next time friends… ✌️💜

Katy