Feedback is a juicy topic. There are so many aspects to it that are worth tackling, but today, I want to explore a specific challenge that I’ve seen the women I know and work with face.

​And that’s when the feedback you’re getting sucks.

​When I say ‘sucks’, I don’t mean that the feedback you’re getting is negative or constructive, and therefore makes you feel bad. That feedback can often be good (even if it doesn’t feel great initially). I’m referring to feedback you’re getting—usually from your boss—that’s unhelpful or even wrong.

​In this case, feedback can be detrimental. So in today’s newsletter I want to unpack:

  • ​What I mean by detrimental feedback
  • Why you may be getting this feedback
  • How to spot it
  • What to do ​

Let’s dive in…

There are two types of detrimental feedback.

The first is feedback that’s misleading. This feedback may sound like, “Nothing I suggest you change. Keep doing what you’re doing.”

​Why it’s detrimental: People hear this and take it at face value. If your manager has told you there’s nothing to change, that must mean you’re doing everything right and are next in line for that promotion, right?

​Wrong.

​Often what this feedback is really saying is, “You’re doing an okay job. There’s nothing we urgently need to fix, and I’m also not trying to stretch you and challenge you to get to that next level.”

​You’re unlikely to get fired if you’re getting this feedback, but you’re also unlikely to get promoted.

​The second is feedback that is just plain wrong.

​Why it’s detrimental: It can send you on a never-ending mission that’s never going to get you there.

​Some examples are:

  • You need to be more strategic—but you’re already thinking big-picture and long-term
  • You aren’t technical enough—but you already have every certification you can get
  • You aren’t building relationships—but you know this is a superpower of yours ​

This can be confusing and causes us to second-guess the things we always thought we were great at. And here’s the thing…

Your boss isn’t doing this intentionally.

In both cases, chances are your boss isn’t doing this to hurt you.

​In the first case, it’s often a matter of them being focused on other people or things. For whatever reason, you’re not on their radar as someone they are actively developing.

​In the second, it’s often a lack of knowledge or visibility on their part. Meaning, they either aren’t savvy enough to know what you really need to be working on OR they don’t have the visibility to know you’re already doing this.

​When I was a director, my CEO kept telling me I wasn’t ready to be a VP because I ‘wasn’t strategic enough’. Once I became a VP and EVP, I was able to look back and realize he was wrong. He thought I wasn’t strategic, but I was already a strategic thinker and great at connecting dots. I just hadn’t developed the right communication skills and habits to demonstrate this.

​This was a shame, because it kept me stuck for years without the right guidance.

It’s up to you to figure out if this is happening. Here are two ways you can spot incorrect feedback

  1. Your boss can’t give you measurable or actionable next steps related to the feedback

For example, if your boss is saying you aren’t being promoted because you lack technical skills, they should be able to tell you exactly which skills you lack and how you can build or learn them. They should be willing to confirm that once you develop these skills, you’ll be promoted. If they can’t, they may be using ‘technical skills’ as a proxy for, “I don’t think you’re ready, but I’m not sure why.”

If you’re hearing feedback like, “Be more innovative” or “You’re not strategic enough” without any tangible actions or steps, this is also a red flag.

       2. Your gut tells you it isn’t true

​Trust your intuition! If your boss says, “You need to be better at building relationships,” and you know you’re great at this, it’s very possible that they are wrong! OR that you simply aren’t showing them how great you are at building relationships.

If you’re really unsure, ask someone who knows you well and who you trust. This was something that I did after 5 years of frustration, and it ended up changing everything for me.

What to do if you’re in this situation? If it’s a lack of visibility, you need to be keeping your boss in the loop more.

Make a point to start demonstrating all of the ways you’re demonstrating this skill to your boss on a regular basis. Provide a weekly report to ensure they have visibility into your progress and wins, including the area of feedback.

If it’s a lack of knowledge, you need to take control of your career and stop relying on them…

In this case, chances are your manager isn’t going to be the one to help you get to where you want to go. So find outside mentors or resources you can use to help you get to that next level in your career.

If you want to discover your blindspots and gain insights into what’s really holding you back from that VP role, or just learn the key areas you need to focus on to be the no-brainer choice for that next exec position, come to my ​upcoming free masterclass​.

I created this so that women like you (and like me, when I was stuck) can figure out what you really need to work on and get some tips on how to get started.

​I’m doing it live on two different dates​ to ensure you can show up and get any and all of your questions answered. ​Sign up here​, and let’s help you discover what you really need to focus on.

My mission is to help more women break through to the exec level, and that includes you! Hope I’ll see you there.

Until next time friends… ✌️💜

Katy

​P.S. My free, live masterclass—Blueprint to VP—is back!! If you missed it last time, or need a refresher, I’d LOVE to see you there and help you find out how to land that VP role and crush it. ​Save your spot here​, and come live so I can answer all of your burning questions!!

PPS. Did you know that my brand new podcast—More Women Promoted—launched yesterday?? If you haven’t checked it out yet, it dropped with 6 episodes. ​Check it out here​.