I want to switch gears with this newsletter since I often focus on the skills and traits needed to advance to the next level, but this past weekend, I was reminded of something equally important.
I was at my 11-year-old son’s hockey game and happened to run into a friend I went to high school with. His son was on the opposing team. In case you’re curious, they creamed us!! I’m talking 11-3. It was heartbreaking… but I digress… We got to talking about life, business, and everything in between.
During the conversation, he said, “Have you ever noticed that pretty much everyone we went to high school with ended up in the same economic situation as their parents? Maybe some have done a little better, but for the most part, we’re all at the same level.”
As I thought about it, I realized this was largely true. People really were pretty much where their parents were, with very few exceptions.
Want to know who one of those exceptions was? Yep, yours truly.
My starting point
Growing up, we had enough, but not much extra. We also didn’t talk about money. For example, I wasn’t allowed to know how much money my parents made – it was rude to ask. I remember in grade 5 or 6, a wealthier friend of mine invited me to visit her condo in Florida over March break. All we had to pay was the $400 flight. When I asked my parents, my mum looked at me with such disappointment and broke the news – we couldn’t afford it.
Money felt like a black box to me. I knew I wanted to make it so that I could have more choice in what I could do, but I understood nothing about how to do that.
Fast forward to today, and my kids get every opportunity they could want. My eldest is on the autism spectrum and attends a Montessori high school to support their needs, where they are now thriving! My middle son plays hockey and goes to sports camps all summer. My youngest has already been to multiple countries on various family vacations.
As I reflected on my friend’s statement and my own situation, it hit me: How much of this ‘ceiling’ is rooted in limiting beliefs? My guess is a lot.
In fact, I would say our belief system about money and ‘success’ are bigger predictors than intelligence or raw talent. And much of this belief system is shaped by the people we interact with.
The people I’ve surrounded myself with have been instrumental in helping me shed my own limiting beliefs and step into my full potential, and today I want to share how so you can find the groups of people you need to get to the next level – whatever that means for you.
There are multiple times in my career where this has made a difference for me, but here are the big 3:
Mentors
I was lucky early in my career to have mentors who would talk with me about money and how to earn it. I discovered that in the start-up world, it was very possible to make more money than I had ever expected.
I went from believing in modest income gains to understanding just how possible it is to become a self-made millionaire, even when working for other people.
The key here was that I had individuals in my life to have these conversations with and who normalized the idea of wanting to make a lot of money and believing it was possible. Some of these individuals also believed in me and instilled the idea that I could, in fact, one day be an executive, start a business, or do whatever I wanted to do. This set the tone for the rest of my career.
Peer Groups
When I finally got to senior leadership, I realized something I hadn’t expected. It was freaking lonely! I certainly wasn’t going to share too much with my VP colleagues or tell them that sometimes I wasn’t sure what I was doing or whether I belonged there, and the people in my home life didn’t understand what my job even was.
I made some friends in my VP role and that helped. But what really changed the game for me was joining a peer group as an EVP, where our conversations were more intentional and the goal of the group was to support and help one another. When I needed advice on what to do work-wise they mentored me. When I needed support because I was feeling lost or unsure, they supported me. And vice versa. I felt as though I belonged.
This had such a profound impact on me that I vowed to create these groups in the world. And this is a key reason that my Own Your Seat at the Table program is a group program. Yes, I’ll help you get promoted and thrive as a leader. But do you know what else I’ll give you? A supportive community of women who actually get it. Invaluable.
Masterminds
I didn’t discover masterminds until I became a business owner, and boy, do I wish I had invested in my development sooner.
Mentors helped me believe I could ride the wave of a great tech company and become an exec.
My peer group helped me know I wasn’t alone and gave me tangible advice to be a better leader.
But masterminds completely shifted my thinking about what’s possible for me and how successful I can ultimately be. Amazingly, my business has followed. Why?
Getting in rooms with people doing or who have done what you want to do shows you it’s possible. Even better, you often realize that the ones living your dream are just regular people… so if they can do it, why can’t you? Spoiler alert: you can.
Not only that, the people in the room are willing to teach you what they did to get where they are today.
If you’re working a 9-5, joining a business mastermind probably doesn’t make sense (and the investment is usually in the multiple 5-figures), but that doesn’t mean you can’t invest in yourself and get in the room with people who inspire you and can teach you to do what they’ve done.
That could be a VP mastermind. Or it could be a program like mine to help you get there. It could even be an MBA if the cost isn’t prohibitive for you or your company is paying.
The sheer act of investing in getting to where you want to go is a freaking game changer. I can’t stress that enough.
So the question to ask yourself is this: Do I want to stay in the cozy boundaries of the belief system I grew up with? Or do I want to stretch those boundaries to make room for something bigger?
I don’t care if your parents worked at a grocery store or were multi-millionaires. If you want a seat at the table, you can get one. It’s that simple.
Oh, and here’s your Saturday reminder that it’s also a-ok to want to make a bunch of money. As women, we’ve been conditioned to believe it’s not…. and who do you think that is serving? Not women. Certainly not you.
So, to recap:
- You probably have some limiting beliefs around your success level based on how you grew up.
- Getting into rooms with the right people will help you change those beliefs.
- Finding peer groups can help you find a sense of belonging.
- You’re allowed to want to climb the corporate ladder.
- You’re allowed to want to make lots of money.
Until next time friends… ✌️💜
Katy
PS. You may have missed early registration for my Own Your Seat at the Table group program but all is not lost! Doors are still open and I’m giving away some great bonuses for anyone who joins. If you’d like to learn more, you can book a free strategy call with my team here.
PPS. I’ve created a brand new free masterclass: Your Blueprint to VP – 3 Success Factors and I am SO EXCITED to share it with you! There will be four (4) live masterclasses in January and then it’s gone, so be sure to find a time that works for you and sign up!
