This week, I posted about my experience with burnout, and my inbox was flooded with DMs from women sharing their experiences, thanking me for bringing light to this topic and asking for advice on how to dig themselves out of this dark hole.
I’ve posted this before a few times. And every time I do, it gets the same massive response.
What does this tell us?
Women are burning out. Or on the verge of burnout. Or… already burnt out.
Not good.
So in today’s newsletter, I’m going to dive into this topic:
- What really causes burnout
- How to spot the red flags
- Preventing future burnout and recovering if it’s too late
Let’s dive in…
What causes burnout… really?
Burnout is complex, and there are many factors that can contribute. Long story short: it’s not as simple as ‘working too much’.
In fact, some studies suggest that it’s much less about hours worked and more about how we feel in our work environment. If we feel that work is draining, emotionally demanding, and we don’t have control over our circumstances, we are much more likely to burn out.
One well-known framework is the Job Demands-Resources (JD-R) Model, which says that burnout is more likely when your job demands (these can be emotional, cognitive, workload, time pressure, role conflict) are high and your resources (autonomy, social support, control and feedback) are low.
This imbalance, especially sustained over time, leads to strain, exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced efficacy… and eventually burnout.
As women, we often carry the double load of a professional career and being the primary caregiver at home. If you’re struggling at work, layering this on only adds to the issue.
At the end of the day, it comes down to putting too many demands on ourselves without enough support and/or bandwidth to recover, whether that’s at work or at home.
What are the red flags, and why is it important to spot them?
I can tell you from personal experience that ignoring red flags does not make this problem go away; in fact, it compounds over time.
In my case, it took many years for full burnout to hit, but once it did, it was brutal! I was emotionally fragile and breaking down every day. I could not go a day without crying. I thought I was losing my mind. This was more than feeling exhausted and disengaged – it had become a crisis situation.
And it took me a full year to feel like myself again.
But the truth is, there were red flags shouting at me for years:
- Getting sick regularly and getting VERY sick at least a couple of times a year
- Growing a 10cm cyst on my ovary. My doctor even said at the time, “Katy, this is stress!”
- Feeling exhausted and having low energy all the time, and relying on coffee to get me through the day
- Needing wine to bring me back down at night because my stress levels were at max
I thought these things were normal! Newsflash: they are not normal…
As time went on, these eventually led to more serious symptoms and eventually got to the point where I could no longer ignore them.
Red flags can be physical symptoms in your body like the ones above (plus heart palpitations, GI issues etc…) or feeling tired, disengaged and cynical.
If you’re checking multiple boxes here, you may be headed towards burnout.
How can you prevent burnout?
The first thing you can do to prevent burnout is acknowledge where you’re at. Are you noticing any of the red flags I mentioned? Good. Now you can do something about it.
There were 3 areas I focused on that helped me dig myself out of burnout, and these are commonly recommended for preventing burnout too:
1. Investing in your health and self-care
I got really serious about my health and taking control of it. This included giving up alcohol for the most part (I no longer drink regularly), and creating a routine that helps me feel good in my body and lowers stress:
- Morning workout/movement
- Meditation
- Noon walk outside
- Reasonable bedtime (aim for 7-8 hours of sleep)
This has made a massive difference, and when I am traveling or fall out of routine, I really feel it!
Action: If you take an honest look at your daily habits, which ones need to be dialed up (eg, mindfulness, sleep, movement) or dialed down (eg, junk food, alcohol, scrolling)? Pick one in each category and start working on it.
2. Focus on energy management
I did an energy audit to try and understand why I was struggling so much. I made a list with 2 columns:
Column 1: What energizes me?
Column 2: What drains my energy?
I listed all of the things I was doing for my job and in my life in one of these 2 columns. Guess what? The ‘drains my energy’ column was really long!
Not only that, many of the things in the ‘energizes me’ column that were related to work were things that only happened once or twice a year (eg, strategy sessions), while many things in the ‘drains my energy’ column were things happening daily or weekly.
No wonder I was miserable!
I was then able to make some decisions to intentionally spend more time in the areas that energize me and less in the ones that don’t. This has been absolutely game-changing for my life, and I recommend everyone do this!
Action: Make your own 2-column list and write down everything that you do in your work week and daily life. What are you noticing? What things in the ‘drains my energy’ column can you delegate, automate or outsource?
3. Getting support / setting boundaries
This is where so many of us fall down. We’re willing to push ourselves to start working out or do an energy audit, but when it comes to creating boundaries or saying no, we hesitate.
We slip into ‘pleaser’ mode.
One of the best things I ever did was sit down with my partner and ask for his support. I explained that my morning routine was crucial to my overall health and well-being, but that I was feeling guilty and pulled because we had a toddler.
I asked him if he could take the lead on parenting first thing in the morning, so I could prioritize my morning routine, and he agreed.
This allowed me to give myself permission to take this time.
Action: Where do you need to ask for support or set firmer boundaries at work and at home? Choose one to start and commit to holding firm and doing this for yourself.
What if you’re already burnt out?
If you’re at the point that I was by the time you’re reading this, you may need to take more drastic action. Making some tweaks to your routine may be enough to prevent burnout, but it’s probably not enough if you’re already there.
The first thing you need is REST.
Can you take some time to fully unplug from work? Go spend a week at a quiet cabin with no cell signal? Maybe even consider a leave of absence?
I remember joining a call with my peer group when I was at my lowest. When I tried to share with them, I completely broke down. They each looked at me and told me that I needed to take some time off work and think about what I needed to change in my life.
I thought they were crazy! It was Q4 and I was a sales leader!! I couldn’t imagine stepping away for even an afternoon, let alone multiple days.
But they were firm, and I knew they were right.
Taking some space away from work allowed me to reassess what was working and what wasn’t, both professionally and personally. I’ve never gone back to the same hustle-culture I used to live in, and I never will.
If this newsletter resonated with you, write me back and let me know! One of the things I’m really passionate about is not just helping women become VPs, but helping them do it in a way that is supported and sustainable.
I want you to crush that exec role AND love your life.
If you want to see whether our coaching program and community can help you reach your goals, book a free strategy call with my team here.
Or if you’re already a VP or C-suite exec and looking for an exclusive, intimate group of women who are at your level to share the things you can’t share anywhere else and get support with your biggest challenges, I’ll be officially launching my Women’s Exec Mastermind in the coming months! You can join the priority invite list here for an opportunity to apply.
Until next time friends… ✌️💜
Katy
